Put Me In, Coach!!!

I'm not, repeat, NOT a coordinated sports person. I tried. I spent my youth dabbling in cross country & track running, cheerleading, volleyball, softball, t-ball, ballet and tap dancing, gymnastics, basketball, football, ice and roller skating, and even some of the strategy and soft sports of bowling, chess, checkers and other random attempts at being interactive, physically fit and learn physical and mental skills. Key words being, 'attempt'. I don't think I found my niche in the sports arena, but I really do enjoy watching and cheering on all the real talent. 

My experiences in this field though, taught me a lot about life, myself, others, team work, diligence, perseverance, passion, empathy, supporting and protecting one another on your team. I never had the chance to say Thank you to all my coaches, peers & even my personal moral support coach, my mom- Thank you! Each person impacted me & my growth to achieve, persevere & overcome. Even if I wasn't good at it, in Every situation I learned.

This is Coaching:

Coaching is guiding, redirecting, teaching new skills or strategies. 

Coaching is not doing it for you, helping you by holding your hand or taking it easy on you. Coaching is to inspire, get you to dig deep for the answers, to push yourself harder & give you the motivation to believe in yourself & your skills to do it! 

Coaching is not easy. Every person is different in the way that they are motivated & in how to fine tune their skills. With Coaching, it's homework & practice, practice, practice! Things don't change unless you make the change.

For me, Life Coaching is my calling. 

It is a beautiful experience to know that my client is ready to grow out of their comfort zone, break free from the excuses & limiting beliefs to become more than what they are living! It is an honor for me to work with my clients- someone who trusts my expertise & skill & assist them with the strategies to make miniscule changes with BIG Results!

I have been a counselor for 15+ years & find better results in 1/3 the time when Coaching than with counseling. That's HUGE! We don't have time to dwell on the past or wallow in the present, it's time to move on!

We live in an instant gratification & disposable society. If it doesn't work, throw it out. But what if it's just a small tweak that needs adjusting for it to sustain? No need to start over, just adjust. Knowledge is power. You don't know what you don't know. So how do you know? Ask.

2023 is almost here. 

What kind of life do you want for this next year? Are you tired of the mundane & feeling 'stuck'? What changes need to happen before you are living a fulfilling & prosperous life?

How can I help you help yourself?

Many blessings for a great rest of the year & a fantastic 2023!

~Coach Jessica *

My 2 year evolution...

The phrase "Time flies when you're having fun" is not always true, but time IS always interesting...
My last post was back in 2017 and the intermittent posts since the beginning have indicated 2 things 
1) I am very busy
2) I forget that I have a blog...
Neither of which are excuses, but facts, as I unravel the past 2 years for you in this brief summary:
I have moved more than several times in the past 10 years with always something else happening forcing us to move again. Finally, I couldn't afford the drastic economic increase in rent prices and I feared being homeless or broke. By the grace of God and all that's good in the world, was able to buy a house at the end of December 2017. With ALL odds against me since having a foreclosure on my credit less than a year old, I feel so blessed!
Randomly, my youngest son wanted freshly hatched chicks from school since now we had a yard. We built the coop together (definitely a 5 month adventure) and now have a healthy flock laying 7 eggs a day! (Eggs anyone??) As well as, fruit trees, vegetable and herb gardens, compost bins and various projects outside. If you would have told me 3 years ago that all this would have been in my future, I would have thought you were crazy!!! Needless to say, I am very proud of my little cottage/farm :)
My eldest son moved in with me last summer after not living under the same roof for 6 years (Can you say 'culture shock'?) and graduated in December from college. He has since moved out and plans on returning to college to continue his education. He's excited to be living on his own boat soon. Great opportunity in Florida. Go Boy, Go!
My youngest son is graduating high school next month as a junior in college with all his dual enrollment classes taken over the past 3 years. Phew! What an achievement! He's done well. He plans on completing his AA and finding a solid program to study horticulture internationally as an intern, then returning to finish his Bachelor's degree. This kid is movin' & groovin'!
Myself? I am the proud owner of Finding Your Inner Compass ~ Life Coaching for Women. I am on the up and coming of this mountainous journey as I build my business up, up, up! I am hosting a ribbon cutting this month and a Women's Revival next month. I am connecting with lots of people to join efforts for events and referrals. I feel very supported and encouraged. 
My education and experience background in counseling and mental health services give me an advantage of other life coaches that may be limited in their knowledge and understanding of the person as a whole. As well, I am a student with the Tony Robbins-Madanes Life Coaching program for Strategic Interventions. I will soon be hosting more events locally, nationally and internationally as I continue to expand and collaborate with other like-minded professionals. 
I completed yoga training last summer and became certified in January. I am starting to teach classes and feel really good about the path that both of these ventures are taking me!
Most importantly, I am grateful for all the different ways I am able to connect with others in order to help them. 

Don't get me wrong...it's been a hefty uphill battle. Within these past 2 years, I have felt confused, hurt, abandoned, afraid, doubtful, alone, financially suffocated, stuck, betrayed, and without, among many other feelings. I have had to face the truth on things that were right in front of my face, as well as the things that were hard to see until I got out of my own way. I've dealt with some medical issues that interfered with my professional growth and have such  relief and gratitude that things are going well now!!! Through this, I've learned to put myself & my health 1st by 'making' time to do what is needed to take care of me. It's tough, but so very worth it in the end. 
As a single mom, I constantly feel 'not enough' with so much going on in so many different directions & my kids going through different stages that I feel I can't keep up with. With all that, I have a difficult time nurturing the friendships and relationships in my life the way that I'd like. I feel like sometimes I am letting people down or not following through. That's a hard thing to admit, but I feel that is sometimes true for most of us. 
The revelations that we discover about ourselves are very important milestones that help us to become more in tune with our authentic selves. Like stepping stones, it clarifies our path and gives us better direction. And with all that we have to encounter in life, we could use all the help we can get!! 
My 2 year evolution has definitely been an adventure! It has included the good, the bad, and the in between. It has helped me grow, develop, re-identify, re-create and re-design my self and my new reality. I had to take the time and make the time to find myself again. Although it is now refreshing and rejuvenating, it was work. Hard work. Something that I faced, mostly alone. I have my friends and family, but the change that needed to happen came from within me. 
You can always change the situation, environment, people...but the common denominator is YOU. For true change to happen in your life, you have to be willing to make the appropriate changes to habits, tendencies, thought patterns, behaviors, and let go of or address the feelings that are holding you back or keeping you stuck. It's not easy, but totally possible!! 
That is what life coaching is and that is why I am now reaching out to help others who feel this same way. Life coaching gives you the tools to make change happen- at least make it happen a little easier. 
So this is the 'short' summary of my 2 year evolution that is much longer than I thought it'd be, but so glad that all this has happened! Until next time...Keep Evolving!

Just hanging out with "the Girls"

The start to our garden!

Life Coaching for Women

Guest Speaker at Brevard Women's March 2018

Brevard Women's March 2018

Our pallet chicken coop as we progressed

Being a mom is tough. Being a mother is inevitable, but only the good moms will tell you that it's fiction because as good moms we mess up daily. It's a struggle to know if what you're doing or saying is right, or how it's going to effect them later in life.  I have messed up a lot. I have felt like a failure & cried tears of regret for not doing better, providing more, working harder, losing my patience, putting my feelings, wants, needs above theirs in the midst of my busyness, forgetting things, overscheduling, being late- a lot, not being able to provide them more, etc. Wasted tears. Tears of pity for myself. My boys love me for me. They know how hard I work & they respect me for making things happen & not giving up. They appreciate all that I Can do for them. They don't dwell on what they missed out on, what I deprived them of, what they never had or experienced. That's me being hard on myself. Sometimes we create issues for ourselves by blocking reality with our own fears & feelings. In those times, we have to stop making things about us, & Give it to God. Trust Him & His plan, His Will & His Way for you & your family!
My boys are almost all grown. They are Amazing young men, each in their own ways! I am so excited of all the wonderful things they are going to do, experience, discover, and overcome to achieve their own goals & successes :) But not because of what I didn't do, but because of what I was able to do & what I kept doing! Don't be discouraged of one setback, pick yourself back up & keep going!! Love, patience, kindness, caring, understanding & helping is all our children ever really need to succeed!

Fear

I'm not afraid. I face it and rise above it. I wear the scars of my fight with pride. I know my strength and trust my spirit to lead me. I will not sacrifice my dignity for my destiny. I will not let the trivial pursuits of others to have power over me or hurt me. No one can dictate or define me without my permission. I will stand with integrity and honor in the face of fear. I have nothing to lose. I am a simple, humble woman that has learned to love my faults and flaws; that doesn't give up on what/who I believe in, yet accepts defeat once I know I've given my all; who trusts and loves with all my heart and isn't afraid to feel the struggle or hurt of my passion!!

Just breathe...

Fire is a beautiful thing. I've always loved a good camp fire. Just to sit and watch the flames dance, the colors blend and bend to the timber, the wind, the night air. But have you ever watched fire burn in an enclosed container? It dies. There is no oxygen for it to breathe. It's a slow painful death, but an abrupt ending to a beautiful creature. It's interesting because I don't think a lot of people think about how oxygen is such a key component for fire's existence. Mostly it is considered that flammable items is what fuels the fire, but it's the air that allows the fire to flourish. It takes nurturing of a fire for it to burn to its full potential - strategic laying of the wood so air can flow under and around it, paper or leaves for it to catch and begin burning the tinder until it gets hot enough to ignite the wood. There's a lot more planning and strategizing than some think.
Fire is such an amazing natural element. It provides us with so much - warmth, means to cook food, light, security, protection, energy; but if you get too close it can burn. It can burn pretty bad. It can even kill.
You may be able to manipulate the environmental factors of fire to manage it, but it can't be controlled. All it takes is for fire to be in a barren or an unmonitored flammable area for a fire to take off and destroy everything in it's path. Fire may be extinguished by various means, but then its dead. More fire may always be recreated, but the fire that has been extinguished will never revive again.
Sometimes I think of relationships being the same. We need to just breathe...
It's very common to think that when in a relationship that constant togetherness is a mandatory factor to the relationship's success. On the contrary, not everyone is designed to be domesticated and caged. A person that is a free spirit needs room to breathe. They need space to flourish. They require nurturing and support from various means of fuel for them to ignite and exist in their full potential. It takes work and respect. You can't suffocate them with questions, demands, confinement - they'll become resentful or even worse, broken, and their spirit will die. You can't criticize who they are, by comparing them to who they're not. They will blaze out of control and burn you in the process. A free spirit can bring light, love, energy, security, protection & always leave you wanting more. But just as you must be patient when starting a fire and maintaining it with the same space and respect, you must do the same with a free spirit.
It's hard to not want to conform them, contain them; but without oxygen to breathe and move, their passion for you will die too. It's important to enjoy them, respect them, encourage them, but don't smother them. The embers don't last long once the fire is extinguished.

 So much relies on the oxygen we breathe. Don't deprive those you care about because of your own desires. Carefully nurture their needs and you will lavish in the joys that their fire will bring.

Journey through

In what direction do we travel? Do you have a compass? A map? A guide? Wouldn't it be great to have a GPS to direct us in time or distance through life? It would indicate the next challenge, time the next accomplishment, determine our destination. It would be nice to know the next employment opportunity, the upcoming encounter or relationship, if there are any detours to avoid the pitfalls of personal or professional dramas. Wouldn't it be great to be advised on which route is the best within our time constraints and when it is time to rest or refuel? Wow! A GPS for all our doubts, insecurities, worries and concerns; something truly reliable for every situation! But is that true?

How many times has your vehicle GPS failed you?? Even a satellite driven GPS will still not be able to anticipate everything!!! Calculating things to the minuet detail sometimes sets us up for disappointment or failure. It's not realistic to expect perfection from such an imperfect race. We always seem to mess things up somehow. But it's not what you do, but how you handle it, that shows your true character.

I love the phrase, 'Follow the road less traveled.' It never made sense to me growing up. I was raised in the country and would go wandering through the woods for hours upon hours. The first thing you learn, even as a child, is stick with what you know or you're going to get lost. I always wanted to return home, so I had no plans on getting lost-I stuck to the paths. But being a bold-headed child, I grew into that phrase more than I knew. It isn't until you become a pre-teen/teenager with direct intention of making a statement and a stand, even on things irrelevant, that you seem to distinctly recognize the things you are stirring up and the new paths you are creating. You take pride in the fact that others notice you and that they may be interested in following you somehow and so, your path is recognized as valuable and important. You did that, you made that happen, you made a statement that became worthwhile! You're not a kid anymore. Worlds have broadened, perspectives enlightened. Our journey has begun...

Now as adults, what philosophy do we follow: 'Do what you're supposed to' or 'Follow the road less traveled.' What's easier? What will be more acceptable? What are the consequences we face? What are the risks involved? What's plan B? Is the gain worth the loss? How can it be measured? How will I be judged? Is it aligned with my goal? How will it help or hurt me or the people around me? What if I fail? What if I succeed? What will I do next? Can I really handle the end result either way?

Ultimately, regardless of the questions asked, the answer given or the decision made,

Will you choose to be Happy?

Formation and Transformation

Formation and transformation of self is the biggest challenge of life. As we grow through the different stages of life, we face the obstacles of developing naturally and normally. Naturally, by human standards, more by God’s standards and the need to fulfill the evolutionary pattern of a human life. Normally, also by human standards, but more by society’s standards and of which cultural influence of ethics, values and morals determine the dictation and definition of normal. Where do we even have a chance??

Each realization of self throughout these stages is scary; scary because of change-change that is not predictable, reliable or guaranteed. How are we supposed to identify with ourselves if we don’t even understand what is going on around us or with us?

When I hear formation, I think of play-do or legos or building blocks. Transformation reminds me of the Transformers cartoon/movie/toys. I remember playing with all these things as a child. I would love to build, create, manipulate the toys and of course, destroy my creations. Is that relative to what we do to ourselves as we grow throughout our lives? 

We work, create, manipulate our way through, have pride in our development and accomplishments and then destroy them? This can be taken in so many contexts…family, friends, work, school, travel, and relationships, essentially both personal and professional developments. Do we self-sabotage through our expectations and impressions of ourselves and those around us? What do our accomplishments actually consist of if we follow this pattern throughout our lives? Is it necessary so that we can continue to learn and grow? 

I think of the development of the butterfly. The various stages that a butterfly develops is a continuous monumental example of how each stage of our lives is a definition of who we have become up to that point, but not the final product of who we truly are. That is up to each of us individually. What we decide to take from each stage, each experience, each encounter, and how we relate to it. So many people limit who they are by labeling themselves as being a certain way, ‘That’s just how I am’, ‘That’s just how I’m built’ or 'That's the way I've always been' -but is that all you have to offer? Is that all that will become of you? Or is there more to you than what you ever imagined?...Are you up for the challenge?
We are the only ones that can decide who we are and what in our life defines us. 

Choose wisely.